Why Do So Many People Hate Today's Words?

What’s going on?

Having recently given presentations in Chicago, LA, San Antonio and New York, I have been struck by how vocal people have become about words they hate! Several years ago when we were researching ideas for Don’t Retire, REWIRE!, we heard rumblings about how many people disliked the word retirement. They didn’t like the image it evoked; they didn’t like the definition of the word and they couldn’t relate to it. We knew that our concept of rewiring would offer pre- and post-retirees an alternative way to think about and plan for their future. Although we created the term rewirement we realize now that we don’t care what people call their future life stage, we care more about how they live or “do” their future.

Now it seems that people dislike most words that have anything to do with aging! It’s like there is a rebellion going on. People have shot down the words-- Senior, elder, mid-life, older, mature…and the list goes on! When I started hearing people complain, it made me think about the first time someone said, “Thank you, “Ma'am! to me. All I could think was “What? Or the famous Robert De Niro line from Taxi Driver…”you talking to me?” I thought, “I’m still cool! How can you call me Ma'am?” It meant that that younger person, saw me as older, (notice I didn’t say old) and I was shocked.

AARP says that “60 is the new 40.” Studies cite people seeing themselves as 10 -12 years younger than they really are. So is it just boomers wanting to be younger? No. When a 90 year old woman told me that she volunteers and that her job is to take the blood pressure of the “old” people, I thought who is she talking about? She proudly said, “92 and 94 year olds!” This is not a boomer rebellion about certain words, this is broader and in the mind set of many. It was then that I discovered a great article in AGING TODAY, called WORDS TO AGE BY: A GUIDE ON STYLE AND USAGE. The link will take you to the November-December 2007 issue for at least another 3 weeks. Then it will be in "Back Issues" at the bottom of that page. When you get to the page, just scroll down to "Words to Age By." Although written for the media I think it is a good read for all of us!

So just to be safe if you see me on the street just yell out…Hey You! And I’ll answer.

Curiosity May Be the Key To Happiness

I am a “social voyeur” who thinks that the holidays are a great time to learn about life. As an author and speaker I like to eavesdrop. It’s what keeps me on the cutting edge of change. Thanksgiving gave me a lot of opportunities to listen and learn. I discovered that everything that I either wrote about in DON’T RETIRE, REWIRE! or talk about in my speeches was happening within my own family and circle of friends. I’m always telling audiences that since we are living longer and healthier lives that we need to be challenging ourselves to imagine new possibilities and to dream bigger dreams. When I surveyed my own family and friends I realized that some people are thrilled about living longer while others aren’t. Some are going for the gusto every day, and others are complaining every day!

I was surprised to learn that an old friend, who had never appeared to be too adventurous in the past, was looking in to going into the PEACE CORPS (www.peacecorps.gov). That brought out a range of comments from “is she crazy?” to “I wish I had done something like that when I was younger.” I realized that I was with an ahttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifssortment of glass half full and half empty people! My Mom, a real on the go woman of 82, always said if you are a pill at age 20, the odds are you’ll be a pill at age 60, 70 and 80! I believe that people can change if they want to, but I also believe that people need to make a conscious effort to change their attitude and jumpstart their future. Here were physically healthy people at our Thanksgiving table who had gotten mentally stale. They needed to be rewired, and actually I think wanted to be, since a few admitted to boredom. My natural instinct was to try and discover what was stopping them from pursuing new activities, or looking at the future with a new set of eyes, or even just taking a different road to get to the mall! But somehow I didn’t think that a rewiring™ workshop over pumpkin pie and coffee would cut it.

During dinner I casually said that I wish that we could create a curiosity gene…I thought that that was what society needed. I happened to mention that it was one of the 10 Nuggets of Knowledge we cited in the Second Edition of DON’T RETIRE, REWIRE! then I left the room. I wanted to give the gang a little food for thought, but not a speech!

My 25 year old niece, who had been quietly listening, asked “is there anything I should be doing to rewire?” I didn’t want to get into a conversation on saving for the future and the power of compounding, I want her to like me, not run every time she sees me, so I said, “ Listen to Jean Chatsky on OPRAH and FRIENDS (www2.oprah.com), she’s got a cool show that addresses a variety of life planning questions.” I felt like I had done some good without coming off as the heavy.

The holidays are a wonderful way to gauge how friends and family are doing, regardless of their age. Phone calls can only do so much, and yes/no answers are too easy. Everyone can use a little rewiring of their energy and their time. It’s easy to get in a rut. Take it from me. We all are there at one time or another!